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Mystic Vixen

the 7 Virtues vs. the Wal-Mart

December 9, 2013 20 Comments

I trust she'll be better once I get another dog. But there's no way to know.

DAISY:  I’ll be the judge of this.

Due to circumstances beyond my control,* this morning I had to cross the threshold into that place of bad karma, that cathedral to exploitation, that bastion of commercialism:  the Wal-Mart.  I was in need of a few giant plastic bins with lids (to store all the journals that I am putting down in the basement) and so I dashed in.

You know, to buy that ONE thing that I needed and get out.

Ha.  cue Hotel California.  NOBODY leaves with only what they came for.  Is this not true?  Or am I the only sinner amongst us?  Also purchased:  two fry pans, two tupperwares, one laundry basket and a small sauce pot.

My scruples were sorely tested in the mere 17 minutes I spent lost down the cavernous aisles desperately seeking an exit and, as a person imprinted by Catholicism before I was old enough to reject religion, my go-to will always be to seek some kind of confession.

So here we are! I trust you are all dressed in black and sitting in a dark cubby on the other side of this screen.

1.  WIN:  Chastity- yeah.  Not really too difficult a challenge on that front.

2.  FAIL:  Temperance- You can stand in line waiting for a cashier and not grab a bag of Doritos to scarf down in the car?  You are a far, far better soul than I!

3.  FAIL:  Charity – Fake Santa ringing a bell for the Salvation Army is not where I donate.

4.  WIN:  Diligence-  YES.  I did not give up.  At times it seemed I would be lost for hours down endless aisles of crap that had been shipped in giant containers filled to the brim with crap and I might have dropped to my knees and wept for the insanity of it all– but I persevered and found the aisle of plastic bins.  boo-YAH!

5.  WIN:  Patience-  Indeed.  I must admit to a hard-wired advantage here as anyone who has ever taught French to 14-year old boys has a veritable mountain of patience to draw upon when stuck in a line behind an octogenarian who needs to purchase her 38 boxes of ramen, in.di.vid.u.a.lly.

6.  WIN:  Kindness – I am all about the warm and friendly smile.

7.  FAIL:  Humility – Yep, feeling super proud of how virtuous I am.

bisous, e

*oops, that’s a lie — good thing Honesty is not a Virtue– it’s true,  I could have planned better and found another option, but was too lazy <—- ooops!  and there's Sloth!

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Comments

  1. ladygenj says

    December 9, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    Oh, Daisy, beatific Daisy and her non-judginess, I love her so!

    And, wow, I applaud your ability to make those purchases in 17 minutes flat! Don't fret though, I'm sure all your daily rivery wanderings and sun-dappled introspection and general mystical activities will fill up the soul sucking actions of the behemoth that shall not be named (again). Xx

    Reply
  2. Lil says

    December 9, 2013 at 7:54 pm

    We've all been there… much as it pains us to admit it.

    Reply
  3. lizardek says

    December 9, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    hahahahaha! My favorite post, maybe, ever!

    Reply
  4. Laura Hogan says

    December 9, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    Fantastic! No judgment here! And teaching French to 18-22 year olds was hard enough, so you have truly earned your stripes!

    Reply
  5. H. Garrison says

    December 9, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    Sometimes ya gotta dance with the devil.

    Reply
  6. Anonymous says

    December 9, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. That includes going to Wal-Mart. 🙁

    Bridgemor

    Reply
  7. locusthill says

    December 9, 2013 at 11:32 pm

    How funny! Traversing the retail maze in a mere 17 minutes is worthy of applause in itself. All the shiny objects usually keep me mesmerized for at least 45 minutes.

    Rita
    (In Arkansas — the state that brought you Wal-Mart!)

    Reply
  8. michelledw says

    December 10, 2013 at 1:11 am

    Love this!

    Reply
  9. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 2:14 am

    ha ha– we can only hope– I do believe in karma so the more good I put out there the more I should have, yes? xo, e

    Reply
  10. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 2:14 am

    I was kinda hoping that was the case . . . 🙂

    Reply
  11. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 2:14 am

    oh not even . .you silly!!!

    Reply
  12. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 2:15 am

    I never knew you were a French teacher, too! so cool– yeah, but there's challenge in every age group for sure. No doubt you have the patience of a mountain, too xoxo, e

    Reply
  13. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 2:15 am

    ain't it the truth!!

    Reply
  14. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 2:16 am

    yeah— there didn't seem any faster way — and we know the road to hell is mighty slick!

    Reply
  15. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 2:17 am

    ha ha Yay for Arkansas– I never knew the birthplace of the Wal-Mart— and those were a long 17 minutes to me .. . 🙂

    Reply
  16. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 2:17 am

    XOXOX

    Reply
  17. Megsie says

    December 10, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    I am so lucky, I hardly EVER go to Walmart. (I have Target here.) (I do think it is quite similar, though.) (and, I should just hand the people at Target $100 when I walk into the store.) (If it is in parentheses it makes it okay, right?)

    Reply
  18. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    I think Target is the lesser of the two evils– or at the least, the prettier of the two evils .. hahah

    Reply
  19. Judy Dziadosz says

    December 10, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    Way back in 1961 Sam Walton visited Ann & Hope the original 'mart' of low cost clothing and household goods. He was so inspired he started – Walmart and felt he could do it better. Yes, little ole Ann & Hope of Rhode Island fame was the inspiration for the controversal WalMart. I googled Ann & Hope to make sure my memory was correct and I learned that the guy who founded Ann & Hope started it selling – ribbon – yes ribbon, left in the mill he had purchased. He branched out to clothing and then to all things we need in the home. Somehow this bring us back to Squam – Fiber Week – Ribbon,,,,clothing, sewing… small world huh?

    Reply
  20. Elizabeth Duvivier says

    December 10, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    that is WILD Judy! I didn't know that story and love the history!

    Reply

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