You may feel embarrassment for me in the next few moments– that is to say, you might see that I don’t feel the least bit embarrassed about what I’m going to admit and you might rush to fill the emotional gap by thinking, ‘oh that poor girl, she doesn’t even know how embarrassed she should feel– I’ll let a few rivers of shame run down my arms on her behalf.’
But really? I wouldn’t if I were you– total waste of your energy. Because I won’t even be embarrassed that I caused you to feel embarrassment for me– so, really– just tack this one up to anthropological studies of people who are not like you.
It’s just so odd that in order to convey the simplest thing (was feeling blue, others were feeling blue, today I feel better, hope you do, too) I am obliged to provide a backdrop as it were– in this case a shower curtain.
You see, as those who have spent any extended number of days with me will tell you– I don’t like to shower. My aversion to taking a shower may not be easily explained but it is an irrefutable truth. Worse? I hate to wash my hair. Hate.
In fact, when my ship does come in, the first person to sail down the gangplank will be my personal hairdresser who washes my hair for me whenever I want.
(Nope. Still not embarrassed– just in case you were checking).
So– you kind of need to know that piece in order for me to tell you the simplest of anecdotes. This past weekend I was feeling the pinch– whether it was work I didn’t want to be doing, bureaucratic paperwork that I felt was endless, change in season, lack of exercise, over eating, chemically induced, environmentally induced– what.ever. I was scraping myself off the floor in the morning which annoys me to no end.
And when I talked to three different people who were feeling the same way, I thought– well, maybe it’s just in the air.
But then, yesterday I blasted through a ton of work and realized, no– it was just the work I didn’t want to do. The avoidance of the inevitable had grown into a giant mass of negative energy sitting on my head.
Really truly– the moment I just did the work and stopped thinking about how much I didn’t want to do the work, I felt better– lighter.
And then? You know what I did?
Before I went to bed last night– I took a shower.
Yep– this is Michelle’s end of day ritual (it kind of hurts my head to type this but she takes a shower every.night.before.bed) Okay so that is never gonna happen for me* but Michelle always explains her habit to me as ‘washing away the day’s energy’. And that was my motivation last night– just wash away all the stupid crap in my head and let go of the worries about things I am just going to have to live through– and wow.
A whole new day.